if you can pick something cute up in a game and don’t try to throw it off a ledge you are out of your mind
This is like the cutest thing
this is how you TV Ad
A proud new dad sits down to have a drink with his father
"Well son, now that you’ve got a kid of your own, I think it’s time to give you this"
"Dad, you don’t mean-"
"Yes son, I do" *Dad pulls out copy of 1001 Dad Jokes, 5th Edition*
"Dad… I’m honoured…", he says, tears sparkling in his eyes.
"Hi honoured", replies his father. "I’m dad".
[incontrollable noises of want]
Is that heaven?
A comic about why witches are stereotyped as riding broom:
Apparently once upon a time there was an ointment one could rub on a broom - that was most popular amongst herbalists (such as many witches) - that was a hallucinogenic. One would ride the broom for masturbating purposes and the ointment would be absorbed through the mucus membrane of the vagina and give the rider a sensation of flying.
Now you will never look at Quidditch the same way again.
How about that.